Let me start by saying that I probably spend too much time looking at watches on eBay. It is my happy hunting ground to find weird and wonderful watches. The watch in today’s article fits both of those descriptions. Despite being cheesy, it brought a smile to myย face. I guess I should return my membership card for the “Society of Horological Snobbery” because no serious watch collector would give this one a second look. If youย can’t see the humor in this timepiece, thenย maybeย you should lighten up. Myย remedy isย to watch at least an hour of theย Three Stooges while sipping your favorite brandy from the flask of a Saint Bernard dog.
Not a Swiss Army watch… but a watch with a Swiss Army knife
The famous Swiss Army Knife
Thisย simple black timepiece is a novelty watch, and it has some very “interesting” characteristics that make tongue-in-cheek references to the Swiss watch industry, and specifically Victorinox Swiss Army. At least that is my take on it.ย ย I should quickly mention that this watch is not made by Victorinox Swiss Army, nor does it claim to be. If it did, then it would be considered a counterfeit. There are plenty of fake Swiss Army watches on the market and you can see my collection of them in the Victorinox Swiss Army Watch Identifier.
Perhaps a little backstory is required to explain the humor found in this novelty “Swiss Army Knife” watch. The brand Victorinox has been making the famous Swiss Army knife since 1884. We all know this little red knife as the one with a bunch of gadgets that fold out of the handle. A single Swiss Army knife can have anything from blades to saws to toothpicks and tweezers. There was another company making Swiss Army knives named Wenger, but that is not really that importantย to our story since Victorinox is the last company standing with the rights to the name Swiss Army Knife. The phrase “Swiss Army Knife” is also used in a generic sense like Q-Tip or Kleenex. Everyone knows what you are talking about even if you are not referring to products made by those companies specifically.
A quirky novelty watch with a Swiss Army knife for hands
This watch clearly alludes to the Swiss Army knife in a generic sense. The minute hand shows the famousย red handle and a Swiss cross. The Swiss cross also appears as branding, but it is not the shield that Victorinox uses in their logo. The hour hand is shown as a silver blade thatย even has the fingernail slot like the real knives.
As a side note, I have never been able to use those darn fingernail slots to pull out the bladeย of a pocket knife. To me, the slots are equivalent to the torture scenes from a Chuck Norris movie. You know the scenes where the Viet Cong are threatening to pull Chuck’s fingernails out with plyers or putting a bag with an angry rat on his head. Maybe it’s just me. I can’t stand those things.
The VC officer threatens Chuck, but that’s no Swiss Army knife!
Let’s get back to the watch. I would suspect that there are times when the time might be a little confusing to read like then the silver hour hand disappears behind the large red minute hand. I am notย even sure if that matters because this watch is supposed to be fun and not really a serious time-keeper. Further evidence of this can be seen in the tachymeter scale, which is normally reserved for chronographs. I am not sure that I have ever seen a tachymeter scale on a regular watch. This is because using a tachymeter requires the user to be able to start and stop the second’s hand on command. The way this watch is set up, you would have to start your laps precisely on the minute… not something that is easy to coordinate with fast-moving vehicles running their own pace.
Just because it is cheap does not mean that it not entertaining!
On the more practical side, this novelty watch has a dive bezel that is more usable to time events. It also claims to be Swiss made so maybe there is a Ronda quartz movement inside. It is made of plastic with a snap-on case back so don’t plan to get this one wet.
The back of the novelty watch. This thing is all plastic. Photo: eBay
Maybe this watch is a tourist trinket or maybe the makers had a quirky sense of humor. We might not know, but at least we can enjoy this for what it is… a silly little watch to make us smile. It’s the Swiss Army knife equivalent to a Mickey Mouse watch. If you want it, head over to eBay to see if it still for sale for $32.50.
